I'm actually thinking about going pro in the first date circuit. I have been on 10-15 first dates in the last 9 months, I'm not even kidding. I have two "first date outfits" that I alternate between now (I'm sure you're thinking that these clothes should be pretty worn out by now, but this is something I only thought to do a few months ago), complete with shoes and earrings and hair (I did discover last night, however, that my earrings are MIA). Some of these first dates have led to second dates, but most of them turn out to be first/last dates (at least I'm dating, right?)
This may sound judgmental, but I can tell when I open the front door whether or not this is someone I want to see again. Thus far, they always seem shorter than I imagine (internet dating) or have picked some, uh, less-than-fashion-forward clothes to wear. Before you start thinking that I am a terrible person for making a snap judgement you should know that I continue to look for redeeming qualities while on the date, first impressions speak volumes, but so do actions. I am happy to report that over half of these guys open the door for me every time, which wins points, and usually the conversation isn't too bad. Sadly enough (or maybe not), there usually isn't anything there that makes the date standout or make me want to repeat it. I am sure most of you have had at least one date like that. That said, the date ends and they drop me off home...
Talk about awkward. How do you end a less than stellar date? And, does how you end it really reflect your stance on how it went? In my mind, there are four ways it can play out:
1- A "peace out" wave from the car. I don't think I've ever experienced (though more than once I wish it had). I think that one is pretty easy to interpret, he's not interested.
2- A handshake at the door. This may have happened to me once or twice. I say this could mean one of two things: this guy is polite/cautious and is interested in you OR, this guy is walking you to the door because that's what he has been taught to do and is not interested.
3- A hug at the door. This one has a lot of levels, such as: hand placement (over your arms, under your arms, a mix of either of the previous options), body contact (I think it's safe to say you won't get a call back if it's two pats on the back at arms-length), length of time (a longer hug would purvey interest, no?), etc. I am generally a hugger unless I'm completely disgusted by my date, but I am careful of body contact and the length of the hug if I am not interested.
4- A kiss. I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't done this a time or two (heh heh heh, okay, maybe more often than that but I am trying to cut back). I am quite certain that there is no correct way to interpret a kiss on the first date. It is either interest or hormones.
I won't even go into the lame, piddly conversations that happen at the doorstep. (You know, "I, uh, had a good time" and what do you say when you don't "Let's not do this again."? SERIOUSLY?!?) I forgot I wasn't going into that.
Last night I had a first date and I was walked to the door, then there was the hemming and hawing at the door, and then I got a hug...AND a kiss on the cheek. I walked in the door thinking, "Huh?" I am sorry to say, that I kinda hope this was one of my first/last dates with him (very nice, but not for me). In my analysis (of course I've analyzed it), I think it means he's interested, I'm hoping I'm wrong...