At the prompting of a friend, I read a book about a month ago entitled Marry Him: the case for settling for Mr. Good Enough. More than once I have been told that I am too picky about who I date (thanks family!). I never really saw it as being picky. I thought that compiling a list of "must haves" and "deal breakers" based on men I have gone out with was only helping me become aware of what I want and what I don't.
Well the book was a little bit of an eye-opener. Contrary to what it sounds like, it's not a book about settling for less than the best, but more about being realistic about who is out there. As I get older (yeah, I'm no longer 22) I realize that the idea of being the single, spinster teacher who collects themed cardigans really isn't appealing and take a look at what needs to be changed so I don't become crazy sweater lady. My aforementioned list isn't getting any shorter, in fact, it's really long and when I look at what's available in the men department it becomes quite clear that there aren't any that resemble who I'm looking for on paper. So what has to give?
I've decided to ditch the list that began when I was a 12-year-old Beehive and I'm taking a new approach. This time I am looking at wants vs. needs. Yes, I want someone with Ryan Reynolds's looks (uh, actually, I really want Ryan Reynolds), but I don't need someone with movie star looks. When I really ponder over what I need in a significant other, the list is much shorter.
Now that I am armed with some new ideals I've re-vamped my match.com profile (that IS an online dating site, where else do teachers meet men?) and I'm giving dating another go. This time I'm attempting to be a little less analytical when it comes to the old criteria in hopes that I get some different results.
Let the mayhem ensue.