Sunday, November 9, 2008

I think I'm broken

Another journal entry for y'all. I went out with a man last Saturday night, it went really well. He seemed pretty cool and we had a good time. This man has a number of really great qualities:
1. Genuine, remembers what I say
2. Educated, yep, he has a degree
3. Established, uh huh, a career and a home
4. Healthy, well, he's a trainer and trained high-jumper
5. Respectful, as in he hasn't attempted to grope me

I'm pretty sure he likes me

We've talked EVERY night this week. I'm not exaggerating. Plus, we've "hung out" twice. In addition to that, here are some texts I've received:
"It was just ok then you messaged me it was way better after that!"
"...miss u"
"Maybe if u call me i can ask u out on a date :-)"

I'm pretty sure he likes me

Here's where it becomes pretty evident that I'm broken. I'm not so sure how much I like him. He really is a great guy, but it seems that he likes me a whole lot more than I like him.

Some background:
I've had one "boyfriend." Ever. That's not to say that I haven't been used and abused by plenty of losers in my relationship portfolio. When I say plenty, I mean PLENTY.

The problem:
Here I've stumbled upon a really nice man, who likes me. I feel like, I'm being smothered a bit (really, if I'm not at school, I'm on the phone) by the phone conversations and professing of one-sided emotion. As I think about this brief relationship, I almost wonder if we had a DTR talk that I didn't know about.

I think I could nicely tell him I'd like to go slower, I really do, but I'm not so sure if I want things slower or halted completely.

My sisters, 2 out of 3, have been kind enough to point out my lack of experience in relationships and seem to think that because I'm out-of-practice, I'm thinking too much into this and need to relax, give it some time and see what happens. I've always been of the opinion that if I don't see a future, why waste time.

I guess this is the real problem:
I probably should like this guy, could like this guy, but I keep thinking, isn't there someone who fits my ideal just a little bit more out there for me? No, he's not Mormon, so that's probably his biggest strike, but I feel as though he should still get a chance.

That's where I'm at. Since the vast majority of readers of my blog are married, I have this question for you:
When you initially started dating your spouse, were you content but really wondering if there was someone better out there for you? (I'm not jumping to marriage, but that's where I'd like to be at some point so, yeah...)

The even bigger question:
Have my single years and lack of relationship experience made me set my expectations too high? Am I being too picky?


audrey said...

Oh, I can't wait to talk about this in person over dinner tomorrow night. I will give you my opinion then. BUT for now, chew on this... I too, lack in the "relationship experience" department, BUT do not doubt your judgement. Make sure you are being realistic, but wasting time in a relationship you didn't see going anywhere from the beginning (well first couple weeks) is just wasting your time and his.... There you have it... Audrey's words of wisdom (HA HA)- take it for what it's worth.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you expect this advice from me, but hold out for the things that mean the most to you. Don't try to talk yourself into things that don't feel right...TRUST YOUR FEELINGS!! Your Awesome, you will know when the right person comes along:)

Love ya!!

Brady + Marsha said...

Definitely trust your feelings. It is better for both of you to stop it now than hurt him even more later. I really don't think the number of relationships is important. It is easy to try and talk yourself into a relationship Especially when the guy is so into you and treats you well. You really will know when the right guy comes along. I had the same worries about being too picky, but really you deserve the best. Love you Katie!


I think you should give it a go, it can't hurt date with your head not your heart until you know what it is you want!

Joshua said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joshua said...

Kick this guy to the curb. I dated/kissed a total of three girls for probably two months combined and then I met my wife with girl #4. If you're doubting him in the least bit then you are wasting your time and money on someone else's husband. The blinders should be on until well after the ring is on your finger :) As for experience, it's overrated. Quality > Quantity.

jennifer hulet said...

Trust your instincts. You'll know when the right guy comes along,you are an amazing girl & there is nothing wrong with expecting the best!

Kat said...

Ditto. You have to have your "list" of things you must have, and the "other list" of things you can compromise or do without. You know that you are NOT being too picky if the most important things you need/want are not available or being offered, and picky if the things you do want most are avail. You are shopping girl.. Better to leave the store empty handed than to leave with something you are only half satisfied with. Loves!! haven't seen you in forever!!